I thought I'd throw out a few things I learned at ALA Midwinter:
1. Bacon is the gateway meat. Vegetarians, beware!
2. Free wifi sucks. Or my computer does. Actually, my computer speaker really does suck because I tried to watch an online class yesterday and whenever our heater came on (which, I freely admit, sounds like a jet engine and forces us to turn up, say, the TV to volumes suitable only for the landing strip of an aircraft carrier)....where was I? My speakers suck. Can't hear a damn thing without headphones. Free wifi sucks, too, if you're at a convention or the Boston Public Library. But when I tweeted that, someone else at the convention said it worked fine for him, so now I'm wondering if I have that condition where anytime you go near electronics they stop working. Because also my battery died withing three hours, and it's supposed to last over nine. My husband says speakers eat up batteries like candy, but I think it's that magnetic field problem. That's probably why I also lose my watches. They just fly off my arm when I'm not looking because my magnetic field is so crazy strong. That doesn't explain the gloves and the jewelry and the sunglasses, though.
3. Librarians are CRAZY for tote bags. Even I, who stuffs as much as possible in my coat pockets just to avoid carrying a purse, coveted a particularly huge tote bag from McGraw Hill. I filled it with about 1000 lbs. of free books, and now I'm crippled. Everyone was tweeting about this picture of a guy with a tote bag full of tote bags, but the picture is all blurry, so who cares? Plus, a tote bag full of tote bags doesn't weigh 2000 lbs, so I win.
4. This is the low-down on jobs from one vendor: health sciences libraries. 40-60% of those librarians are going to retire in the next five years, he said. And he's scared because those are his clients, and what if the libraries don't bother replacing them? I wanted to smile gently and pat him on the head and say, "There, there. Everyone knows no one is going to retire ever, ever again. Thanks to the imploded economy, the entire workforce will be forced to work until they die of old age, and the rest of us are shit out of luck. So your clientele will be creaking along well into their nineties! You're set for life! In fact, you'll probably die on a sales call, you lucky dog, you!"
5. Boston has a new T line, called the Silver Line, which is a bus connected to an electric cable. I don't know why, but that freaked me out. Maybe because of my crazy magnetic field.
6. Even the most comfortable shoes aren't comfortable after a day at a convention. It probably would've helped if they weren't heels. I mean, they're comfortable and all, but you know....they're heels....I'm a dumbass.
7. Swag is great! But apparently, after a number of conventions you become very selective. Now that I'm permanently crooked from the 5000 lbs of books, I can see why.
8. A dance librarian is a mythical creature. More on that later.
9. Schmoozing isn't so bad, as long as you have Xanax.
Okay, so I'm hoping to find out what everyone else learned because I have the sneaking suspicion I missed something. Like, where were all the Twittering librarians I follow, and why didn't I meet any of them? Is it because they were all on their laptops getting thrown off the network every 30 seconds? Oh, wait - that's just me and my crazy magnetic field.