Some Librarians Write Books Too!

Sometimes when I tell people that I'm going to become a librarian, the room becomes silent, the crickets buzz, followed by a gulp and an "oh." After their mental recovery, they might say something like "what kind of job will you have?", assuming that I'll wear triangular glasses and my hair in a bun.

The stereotype almost seems like a cliche at this point. Some of the same people who ask me what I'm going to be are going to be things like lawyers or businessmen. I snicker a bit inside because I know I won't face the pressure of failing as a lawyer or my company embezzling money and having to go to jail. (muhahaha)

The worst that could happen to me is that a patron becomes a little hostile or the little sticker comes off the binding of a book and my mind implodes at the sight of uncategorization.

General people do have these stereotypes that I love me some books. WOOO HOO gimme dem books. I love 'em. And sadly I do, a little, but more than that I like writing. I want to write books. I want to write a librarian character who takes over the world or who makes more money than a doctor or who just simply punches people in the face who stammer, "oh librarian, eh? what you gonna do with that?"

In fact, many times when people ask me, "why do you want to be a librarian?" I reply, "to be a writer." You can't just graduate with a degree in writing, magically sit down write your first piece and have enough money to pay of your loans, buy a house, marry the girl next door, divorce that bitch and then afford little brats. A writer needs to sustain her or himself, which means working at Wendy's or shoveling blacktop, or becoming a librarian etc.

That doesn't mean I'm some poser. I don't have to sneak around a library or classroom and ACT by randomly blurting things like DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM for approving nods from my cohort of "nerds" while the teacher's eyes roll back in their heads as they cream their pants. No, I study librarianship because that's what I have to do to survive. It's a morbid truth. Would I rather have the ability to sit at home and write everyday until I die even without making any money? Absolutely.

On the flip side, that life seems f'in boring. Yes, I want to write everyday, be accomplished, published, etc. But I want to work with people and do something fun, new and exciting like working in a library. And sometimes after a hard divorce or diarrhea you really don't want to be sitting all alone in a room with a computer and a blinking cursor on a white document page. I would so much rather be working in a library wearing a kilt, triangular glasses, a Hilter mustache and my hair in a bun.